The Month of May

I kind of have this love/hate thing with this month. I love it because I was born on May 24th.. I hate it, because it's when I began my first relationship. Today.. May 2nd, happens to be the 1-year anniversary of my first date with a girl who I at one time (and I honestly don't doubt I was) was in love with.

It was a year ago, but I remember May 2009, almost perfectly. So much happend in those 31 days. My life changed.. I went through my final weeks of school, fell in love, got into a very serious car accident, began recreationally using marijuana daily, and performed my first ever stand-up comedy show. Crazy month.. I know!

I regret just about all of it.. but I can't change it now. I just use it all now to be a better person.

For some reason though, theres a sense of optimism looming over me. April 2010, was kind of a roller coaster for me. It started off great, then I hit a low point personally but with the help of some really good friends, I think I picked my pride up off the floor and got something back that I had missing since I was a kid. What it is.. I just don't know. I feel like at the end of April though I became more of a serious person.. and I don't really like that. I think people like me when I'm funny, not serious.. So I'm trying to get that back.

So maybe I'm not giving up stand-up then? I don't know. The year anniversary of my first stand-up show is May 18th, so I want to do a show around that time. The only place that seems like an option (and fitting at that) would be Bela Dubby's in Lakewood. Its where I did do that first show. So I'm going to contact Jim Tews, the comedian who runs that show and see whats up. He's a really funny guy.

Basically I think I'm going to try to use this month as a turning point in my life. It's never too late to get what you once had back. Do I want her back? No.. I've moved on, and theres other girls that I like (one in paticular). But it isn't too late to get back to where I was before May last year, when I was just a happy person.. because I haven't been all that happy from May 2009 til' now. There are moments.. but there few and far between where I can actually say I'm happy right now.. ya know? I don't know, I have a feeling I'm just rambling on now.. So I'll end it here. Good night everybody!